After years of head scratching decisions culminated in the release of Randy Moss a mere four weeks after trading for him, Brad Childress has finally revealed his decision making process to the fans.
"My initial intention when I got this job was to win a Super Bowl here in Minnesota, then I noticed that Los Angeles doesn't have a football team. Can you believe that? I knew I had to do everything in my power to fix this travesty. It's such a big market!"
Childress finds himself under fire after starting the season 2-5 despite having what on paper appears to be one of the most talented teams in the league. It appears that the tumultuous start to the season is no coincidence however.
"It's all part of the plan. I don't want to just hand wins away, but here and there I chip in to make sure we lose. Whether that means wasting time outs on bad challenges or wasting draft picks, I try my best."
Yet the Vikings have had some success under Childress, with multiple playoff appearances and a near Super Bowl berth. How did Childress explain that?
"Hey we have one hell of a team. They amazed me with their ability to win despite my best efforts to steer us down the tubes. Not that I mind it. I have to make sure we win just enough for me to keep my job."
It's thought that a relocation to LA is possible for the Vikings if they don't get a new stadium commisioned in Minnesota. The commision of the stadium is much less likely to occur if the team is struggling. Childress has had a series of decisions and incidents to make sure that the Vikings struggle. The latest incident is perhaps the most curious decision of the Childress era. Randy Moss was let go after just four weeks, after never being incorporated into the offense. Childress has said that even he didn't plan on this move.
"(Releasing him) wasn't my initial plan. Originally, I planned to just never incorporate him into the offense, and it was working, but then he called me out in a press conference. I can't tolerate anything like that. It's one thing for me to call out Brett Favre, but when someone does it to me, not ok."
So it appears that Childress is actually doing a really great job, providing you want to see football in LA county in the near future. Does Childress have any regrets for the ongoing suffering he heaps on Vikings fan?
"No not really. I have a cold heart, probably because of the cold weather. You know what can warm a cold heart? The hot sun of California!"
So there you have it, Childress isn't the dolt that Vikings fans believe him to be.
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